Hey! Are You Listening?

Listening is one of the many actions we do without thought. But are we really listening to others? Effectively? Effective listening is important as a leader because it shows that we care about what others have to say. Ideally, if one comes to us to share information, it is simply because they want us to listen or they want some sort of feedback. I mean they could really go to someone else, but think, why did they come to you, in the first place?

As a leader I have learned that listening is so much more than providing a response. I have learned that some just want to express their thoughts, emotions, frustrations, celebrations, and so much more. As a listener, you have to really pay attention to what the person is sharing with you. While you are listening, you can find out if they want you to provide advice, give insight, celebrate with them, or just to ultimately listen to what they are saying. I shared in a previous blog post that effective listening was a "must-have" leadership skill.

Being a leader, effective listening is important. I have found five tips to help be an effective listener:

Do not interrupt.

We want to allow them to get all of their thoughts out of their mind. Interrupting someone while they are speaking, may cause them to lose their thoughts. Interrupting, signals that you want to either respond, agree or disagree. Providing them the opportunity to complete their statements, shows that you care what they have to say.

Stay Present.

It is natural and easy to for our brains to wander and think of something else. While someone is speaking to us is where the problem comes into play. It may be difficult or even a challenge to stay present but try your best to remain in the conversation. Truly hear them out, as you may not know what they need or how to possibly help them, especially if your mind wandered off to the next task, or email you have to send, or the meeting you have at 3:00 when they asked for sound advice.

Keep Yourself Out of It.

Stay out of it. It simply means try not to respond by sharing a similar experience. Oftentimes, people want to ensure you are listening to them because they want to be heard. Sharing a similar experience can make it about you. That's not always what is needed. If you must share a similar experience, wait until they have finished and ask to offer advice or ask can you share your experience and then proceed.

Empathize

Showing empathy evokes understanding and a value for what has been said. This helps to build trust. It shows compassion for others and that their emotions and thoughts matter. They do not just matter to themselves, but to the person that leads them.

Paraphrase

Once the speak has completed their discourse, paraphrase what they have said to you to understand and clarify what you listened to. Make mention of their emotions and topic of the conversation. Offer feedback, if necessary. More than likely they will feel that you truly listened and that is a great start to a relationship of trust.

Next time someone approaches you to talk or desires to speak with you during your office hours, follow these tips to effective listening. I am sure it would make that person's day!